geek girl runner

Monday, January 16, 2012

A Decision
I'm not going to run the Gold Coast marathon this year. I'm not going to run any marathon this year. I know this sounds stupid, but it feels incredibly FREEING to say that. I know I said I was going to. But as soon as I said it, I felt weighed down by it. The next seven months stretched ahead like the worst homework assignment ever. It wasn't like that last year. I don't know what changed. But lately running is feeling less fun and more like a chore. It feels like something I only do because you guys expect it, and because I've made my running so public. It doesn't help that I keep adding a new injury every six months. I hurt my right knee ten days ago, and it's still not recovered. Every day that I don't run, I feel a terrible guilt knowing that I'm "falling behind" on my goals. Isn't that silly? I went out for a run this morning knowing that I shouldn't, just because I felt ashamed at not getting in any miles this week. (I got plenty of exercise, just not running.) That's just stupid, right? Who am I doing this for, anyway?! So when I got back to the house this morning, wincing as my knee climbed each step, I said to the Snook, "I don't think I want to run the marathon." And he said, "Okay." And I immediately felt SO MUCH BETTER. I feel like that's a big sign that I'm making the right choice. Right now to run would be to force the issue, and I don't feel like forcing it. I want to have some fun. I want to face some new challenges. I will continue to run, but I'm not going to set any expectations on it. That feels good to me.

 
Comments
 
You have lots of challenges to look forward to with Tiffany, and I think you can set yourself a whole heap of new goals around her, and have fun doing it. Like buying hipster panniers. With a bird on it. Do what feels good and you'll feel good. I forget how simple it is sometimes xx
» drk [www] » 2012-01-16 18:11:57
 
As you know, it gets hairy out there on the marathon track. I cannot imagine doing it, when you don't want it with your whole heart. I've made myself the promise to never start another marathon while injured. Since we're not going to win, this is for fun.
» Emma » 2012-01-16 18:42:05
 
I think you made a great decision. I basically retired from marathons due to injury. You can still do 10K or half marathons that are a commitment and a challenge but without the wear and tear on your body. Maybe go for some long bikes rides with the Snook to mix things up a bit! You can always run when you feel like you want not, not because you feel like you have to.
» eileen [www] » 2012-01-16 19:18:07
 
I think you've got your head in the right space. You don't run a marathon because you have to, you run it because you want to. Because it's a goal you're working towards; a goal that makes you feel proud of yourself and your accomplishments.

I think you are 100% right to set your sites on something more fun and, honestly, more challenging than another marathon. Maybe do a biathlon with running and biking or something awesome like that that you and The Snook can do together?
» Josh [www] » 2012-01-16 19:37:11
 
I totally agree! When it stops being fun, you need to go back to the basics and just run with no agenda - just because you can. Good luck!
» wen » 2012-01-16 19:53:21
 
Kris believe it or not I do follow your running jargon and I have to say I find you inspiring. The fact you write about it and make it all public, the marathons, running injured, running hail-rain-shine-or holidays, all of this takes stamina, guts and persistence of the human spirit & mind!

The fact that you have now made this statement public and had the guts to look inward and come to a decision, takes more of that same determination & guts -> power to you ! You should be very proud of all that you have achieved, I am - do what makes you happy lovely :) ..and GO! the Snook - what a man ! .)
» 1funkyknitwit [www] » 2012-01-16 20:11:17
 
Even if you never run another marathon, you have still run a marathon! A MARATHON! You ran a marathon! That is so amazing, and you are in a pretty small group of people who can say that. I agree with the others, there is no point doing it because you feel it is expected, you have to want to and even enjoy it (as much as you can enjoy running a marathon).
» RoseRed [www] » 2012-01-16 20:52:34
 
Only seriously uncool people run the same race twice. You're hipster. You've got a bicycle now! Running is supposed to be fun and empowering and if it's not that for you then you've gotta do what's best for you.
» Ailsa [www] » 2012-01-16 21:47:34
 
Smart + brave + relieved + happy = the best decision for you. That's how you know it was the right thing to do. Soo smart!
» Linda » 2012-01-16 22:51:53
 
You are truly a big girl now. I'm so proud you made that decision! I cringe everytime I read your posts and there is an ache or pain. You are at a point in your life where you don't need to do anything that you don't enjoy. Stay active and keep that heart pumping.... Love you, Ma.
» Mom » 2012-01-16 23:34:34
 
Good for you, Kris--I totally see what you mean about it seeming like a chore (or worse, an obligation). Run when you want and how much you want--whatever it takes to keep it fun. I threw away my scale at the beginning of December and now gauge my running or swimming or whatever by how much I enjoyed it, not how much I weighed before and after.

So take care of your body and stay fit in whatever way works for you--I think this is a great decision, and it's pretty freakin' brave to announce it publicly.
» Max » 2012-01-17 01:07:41
 
Congratulations on listening to yourself to make a good decision. Take care of that body so that it will work well for a long time! Jeff and I pretty much crossed marathons off our list after the last one; it's too much stress on the body and life in general.

Take care and have fun!
» Tricia » 2012-01-17 04:13:49
 
You need to take care of yourself and your body. This sounds like just the right decision. You have permission to not run any marathons -- this year or ever.
» Carrie » 2012-01-17 09:46:54
 
A good decision. Discipline without joy is just misery. Running is a good thing and we can spoil that sometimes. Now you get to run because you want to, not because you have to and that's what it's all about at the end of the day. Good call Kris.
» JayDub [www] » 2012-01-17 09:55:11
 
Just echoing what your mother says (oh gee, how'd that happen?). Learning how to make the most of your life (rather than just fitting lots of stuff in) is learning how to enjoy the life you have. Well done you. XX
» M-H [www] » 2012-01-17 10:01:13
 
what they all said

and

homework was never fun
» missfee [www] » 2012-01-17 13:50:34
 
makes sense! who wants to pursue a goal if it holds no allure? much better to focus on what you DO want to do and enjoy it. i must confess that i shall miss your running updates because i find them inspiring, but i look forward to hearing all about your new fitness goals, because i'm sure you'll have some good ones!
» kristen [www] » 2012-01-17 13:59:52
 
Good call - You've already got the check on the bucket list. Half-marathons and shorter are much more pleasurable and considerably less strain on the body and soul.
» Kevin [www] » 2012-01-20 05:25:47
 
I just got done listening to your podcast (#8, I think), where you talked about running for fun vs. running for a goal. Sounds like you're walking your talk! Good for you! I have started to fantasize about running for fun again after my first marathon in 4 weeks...makes me smile jut thinking about it. Yay for you!
» Tues [www] » 2012-01-24 02:02:30
 
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